Films that could have been good: Episode I – Anderson Strikes Again

Right I’m a big Movie fan, maybe something of a nerd as I know random facts that no one else would give a shit about on certain films, like for example: Michael Biehn, the guy who played Kyle Reese in Terminator was the second choice for Hicks in the Movie Aliens after the first actor had to drop out due to Visa issues if I remember correctly.

First off on this hit list of shitty films is: Resident Evil

Just let me start by saying that I truly hate and despise the director Paul W.S Anderson and i hope he dies some very long and slow painful death. For those who don't know, this is the same asshole that ruined the movies AvP, Mortal Kombat and Soldier (this film is supposed to be set in the same universe as Blade Runner and was written by one of the co scriptwriters of Blade Runner, the film had a brilliant concept, look how Anderson managed to fuck it up).
He has a boring approach to film making and usually ends up leaving the films on some really bad cliff hanger so you know there is going to be a crap sequel in the turd works.

Q. So what was wrong with Resident Evil?
A. Everything.

Instead of making a creepy suspense filled horror with thriller elements set in a massive Mansion, the truly amazing (note sarcasm) Anderson instead turns the adaptation into a shitfest Action Horror film with NO HORROR anywhere to be seen. Isn’t the whole point of a Zombie film to be scary? Why does this film fail at this task so hard?

Also for a Resident Evil film it lacks any of the characters that appeared in the game i mean where the fuck is Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, Wesker and the other members of S.T.A.R.S, these are supposed to be the main characters! What we get instead are boring characters we the fans don’t really know or give a shit about. I think there is only one character that is from the game series and that is William Birkin who was uncredited as the narrator.

The Zombies, jesus christ the Zombies the most important part of the Resident Evil series, they were totally retarded and severely underused, they should have looked like the Zombies from Lucio Fulci’s “Zombie Flesh Eaters”, now they looked bad ass.
Did you know that “professional dancers were hired to star as zombies as they had better control of their body movement.”……really? Because they looked fucking crap.
I have seen better zombies on the streets.

And for the plot? Oh god the plot was so boring that I have forgotten all about it thank fuck, this really is a film that makes me angry because of all the what ifs or could have beens. Like for example what if George A. Romero the Zombie master actually got the go ahead to make his own version of the film? If you haven’t seen the ad for Biohazard 2 that he made then check this out:


Now wasn't that good? I think it was.

You see Romero understood what the game was about and how it could have worked on the screen but apparently the script he wrote wasn’t good enough and was eventually turned down!? I mean what! You turned down his script and let Anderson’s piece of shit version to go ahead? I see no logic there, none.

This was Romero’s idea for the film; once again I copied from Wikipedia.

“In 1999, Sony and Capcom greenlit a Resident Evil film with George A. Romero signed on as the film's director and screenplay writer…….Romero stated in an official appearance in Universal Studio's Talk City chatroom that he had his secretary play the entire game through and record the gameplay so he could study it as a resource. Romero's screenplay revolved around the plot of the Arklay incident and included characters from the Resident Evil video games. Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield were the lead characters, involved in a romantic relationship. Barry Burton, Rebecca Chambers, Ada Wong and Albert Wesker were to also appear. The ending to the film would have been similar to that of the Resident Evil video game.”

If you want to read Romero’s script for the film, check the following link:

http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/resident_evil_romero.html

Just a note I’m not a huge Zombie fan not like some of my friends but I do hold the first Resident Evil game in such high regards for its brilliance, story telling and the whole suspense and setting is creepingly great!.
I might buy a game cube just to play the remakes thinking about it.
Well anyway after watching the first abomination I decided to skip the 3 sequels because I knew they would follow the same crap style. Maybe I’m wrong but I still won’t watch them out of principle.

Well there you go for Films that could have been good: Episode I – Anderson Strikes Again.


And one final thing: Resident Evil is better then Resident Evil 2